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  • Writer's pictureBeverly Deutsch

8-23-22 An Update

I paint when I can, been working on these.

I can now walk and step over things, AND turn my head ANY direction without getting fall down dizzy. Turns out I have to re-wire EVERY right-side function, eye, hand, leg, foot, in every scenario, from every angle, not only just to do as my brain says, but doing 2 movements simultaneously, learning to coordinate them. Right now, I’m working on that, stamina, strength, also still working on my speech and writing. I am thankful I relearned typing, so that it doesn’t take forever anymore to write a simple email, still waiting on that stage with long-hand writing and speech. Everything while relearning, is physically VERY slow, but, my mind has been fully intact, and in anguish at EVERYTHING having to be re-learned from a remedial start; started with writing ABC’c and making all the letter sounds. I can now write with pen and paper, legibly, but talking is much harder, though definitely improves as I read aloud to myself every day, along with all my other re-learning practices.

Still working on patience with myself, remembering where I was a year ago and the progress I’ve made so far, instead of focusing on what I still can’t do, or how very long it takes. The first time I tried screwing a screw in, to attach a hanger to a painting took me at least 20 tries, same with plucking my eyebrows; and it took forever to even get my hands/ fingers to do it, really hard not to get impatient and mean with myself, also anxious as hell; enter lots of meditation, exercise, rest, cuz it’s taking all I’ve got just to get this good at the basics of selfcare.

Once I could swim again, it’s been a wonderful therapy for getting my eye muscles, arms, and legs to work simultaneously, and in water I don’t fall down, it doesn’t hurt my joints, the one thing I can do safely, without pain, as long as I don’t overdo it, cuz when I get tired, as I’ve mentioned before, nothing works right.

Plugging away.

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